“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s learning to Dance in the Rain“
This was and still is my life motto. I always look back to this quote whenever I am having a bad day, going through hard times etc. When faced with challenges that seemed impossible to overcome, I always told myself to ‘dance in the rain’, to brave through the difficult times I am going through, to embrace the challenges in my way.
However, as each day goes by, as the clock continues ticking, I feel like I can’t do it anymore. I can’t act like my life isn’t a mess anymore, I feel like giving it all up. My dreams. My aspirations. My hard work. All of it. I know there are people out there who are suffering much more than me, I know I should be grateful to have a beautiful house to live in, to have such wonderful education. I’m appreciative, but sometimes I just feel like it’s too overwhelming. Too many things in my way. Just that few more steps, just 6 more months and it will be over. But I feel like I won’t be able to get through these next 6 months.
These next 6 months are so unpredictable, anything could happen. I could have woken up from my state of distress, brushed my knees off from the fall and continue with my efforts. I could have wasted all my past 5 years of effort down the drain. I could have my heart broken. So many possibilities.
They say what happens next depends on what you do. But I don’t feel the motivation to do what I was set out to do. All these self-expectations, all my high ambitions, they’re suffocating. If only they didn’t matter, wouldn’t life be so much easier? Only for the short term. In the long term, the consequences are scary. So I’m doing all that I’m doing right now, to prevent those scary consequences?
I know what I want in life, but so many things in the way are throwing me off course. Should I just let myself be swayed by the strong sweep of wind, or should I try my hardest to stay in my intended path? Right now, it just seems so much easier to be taken away by the wind. I’m not sure I want to dance in the rain anymore, but will the storm ever pass?